A few months ago, while giving a client a facial, the conversation turned to sex. I know. I know. It just happens sometimes. Sue me.
Anywho, she'd been married for twelve years and was trying to figure out how she could spice up her love life.
Like normal, we ran through all of the options that our nonfreaky minds knew of. Porn. Toys. Role playing. A threesome. Which she replied, and I agreed, "Heck naw!"
Then she took the warm towel off of her eyes (I give a mean facial) and asked, "Have you heard about the upside down pineapple in the basket of your grocery cart?"
"Uh...no. What...does...that...mean?"
Anywho, she'd been married for twelve years and was trying to figure out how she could spice up her love life.
Like normal, we ran through all of the options that our nonfreaky minds knew of. Porn. Toys. Role playing. A threesome. Which she replied, and I agreed, "Heck naw!"
Then she took the warm towel off of her eyes (I give a mean facial) and asked, "Have you heard about the upside down pineapple in the basket of your grocery cart?"
"Uh...no. What...does...that...mean?"
Her eyes widened.
Mine did too. And I don't know why. Sometimes I make the same faces as other people when they're telling me something crazy. Anyway, she said that it's a sign that you're a swinger."
"Whaaat!" Na-uh!"
"Yes!" she said. "That's their signal!"
My mind was blown! Actually, my mind was racing. How many times had I walked through the grocery store with a freakin' pineapple upside down in the cart?
Wait!
When was the last time I ever bought a pineapple?
Pondering...pondering...pondering.
Months ago! Yah! I guess I was safe. My unhealthy lifestyle had saved me from being hit on by freaky swingers who have a love for tropical fruits.
But I couldn't wait to Google the mystery upside down pineapple and swingers.
So, what did I discover?
A bunch of damn recipes for upside down pineapple cake.
Well. I'll be damned. I guess it's not true. Or is it?
I got a bunch of damn recipes too! And your blog.
ReplyDeleteIt's true, also Pampas grass and white rocks in front if their driveway means they are swingers and pineapple flags! ;-)
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ReplyDeleteYou were giving her a facial and the subject turned to sex ... Um facial ... never mind.
ReplyDeleteIt is very true!
ReplyDeleteAs we've been swinging for the past 2 years, we kind of laugh about these old myths. Think about the logic - if someone wanted some no-strings sex, you wouldn't go to the grocery store for a random hookup...heck, how many men would be there who know this? You also wouldn't stumble upon a swinger's home, ring the doorbell and introduce yourself, or worse crash their party when you saw a bunch of people showing up. Instead....
ReplyDeleteYou would use this cool piece of technology called the internet. It has multiple dating sites for couples/individuals. These sites announce parties.
Yes it's true. I first found out before i was in the lifestyle. I was shopping to get a pineapple for a juice i was making. It rolled and become upside down. A couple came up to me, acting super flirty and odd. After just a few mins the husband asked if i was a swinger. I said no and why did he ask? Said it's a universal way of spotting each other out. I declined the offer. Because i was only 22 at the time and didn't know much about it. Now? Oh yeah i do it!
ReplyDeleteIt can't be too popular knowledge. I've been a swinger for about 12 years and just found out about it this summer. Sheesh...
ReplyDelete