Public Dislays of Affection

So, I'm standing in line at the movies, and the couple in front of me began tonguing each other down! Not regular kissing. Not cute couple kissing, but noisy, sloppy, get a freakin' room kissing. Argh!

Couples like this drive me insane! I'm always completely grossed out by them. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. I think it's romantic to see a couple making eyes at each other or patting each other on the butt. I believe that a happy couple is probably a couple that shows affection towards one another, BUT come on, when does it go beyond that?

For me, personally, I'm not really into PDA. My version of PDA is very G-rated. Holding hands. A hug. A quick peck on the lips. That's okay, but a full-blown, make out session in public is a no-no! Sorry future boyfriends, but I find it unnecessary and attention-seeking.

So back to the couple. She's pulling his hair and he's squeezing her butt. OMG! Yes. Mr. and Mrs. Suckface. Everyone is looking at you. We get it. YOU HAVE GREAT SEX! Maybe. YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! Possibly. Regardless, why are you bumping-and-grinding all willy-nilly for the world to see?

Honestly, I wish I could just tap them on the shoulders and ask, "Why are you at the movies? Why don't you just go home and get it on?" That would be rude, but aren't they being rude or is it just me?

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Why A Man Shouldn't Cheat. Reason No. 25

Fatal Attraction 

The other day I watched Fatal Attraction. This movie has always given me the chills. Glenn Close played the hell out of this part. She was beyond crazy, and I'm almost positive, she made a few men consider marriage counseling over cheating back in 1987. So, what is the movie about? Cheating Man + Crazy Woman = Boiling Bunny. Ahhh! Whatever. Rent it!

Anyway, while watching the movie, I got to thinking. Yes. We all know that when a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend, he's going to break her heart, ruin the trust in the relationship and possibly rip apart his family, but has anyone ever thought about what that man has done to the other woman?

Hear me out.

What if the other woman doesn't know he's married? What if she really, truly, and deeply falls in love with him? Wait! What if she doesn't know he's  married, falls in love with him and is crazier than a fruit bat?

One of the most memorable lines in the movie is when Close's character says "I will not be ignored!" That one line set everything off, for me. So, I wondered. Before a man cheats, shouldn't he consider what could happen if the other woman refuses to be ignored, lead on, used up and thrown aside like garbage? Shouldn't he consider checking her medicine cabinet for "happy" pills before he proceeds? 

Check Out The Trailer

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It's Complicated. So What!

I bet it's more complicated now that your business is all over the internet.

Okay, maybe this is just a pet peeve of mine, but I hate relationship statuses on Facebook. I believe that what goes on in a relationship should remain between those two people. If it's complicated, work it out or move on, but don't share that intimate detail of your life with your 589 "friends" on Facebook.

My question is, what do you want your friends to say after seeing your status change from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated"? Obviously, they're going to ask why "it's complicated". So, are you willing to share? Are you willing to tell an old classmate from high school, (the one that you really didn't like but you friended them because you wanted to stalk their pictures), what's going on in your relationship? Are you doing it to piss off your complicated lover? Do you want your 589 "friends" advice? What's the point? No, really!

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Vajayjay 90 Day Rule

Have you heard of this rule, ladies?

Well, just in case you have not, girl, lemme tell you what it's all about.

Okay, the 90 Day Rule is a rule that suggests that a woman abstain from having sex with a new man for 90 days.

Why 90 days?

Because 90 days is about as long as a man can keep his little "eccentricities" to himself.  Think about it. No way is a slightly normal, decent guy going to spill all of his crazy beans on the first few dates. He's not going to tell you that he has a fetish for sniffing dirty socks or admitting to you that he's biwinning...ahem...bipolar.  But, if you give it 90 days those sort of things will reveal themselves. It's the same reason that you're given a 90 day probation period on a new job. Have you seen how much people change by day 91? They start coming in late, eating their co-workers snacks and talking on their cell phones when they should be working.

Ya see where I'm going with this? I agree that it's almost impossible for any human being to suppress the crazy for longer than three months. But...I have been wrong. Some guys have tricked me. Let me see. There was Married Man, Psycho Crazy Fool Man, The Black Rodeo Stalker Man and I Forgot That I Have Two Children NOT One Child Man. So, it is possible to suppress crazy for longer than 90 days.