Thursday, March 10, 2011

Vajayjay 90 Day Rule

Have you heard of this rule, ladies?

Well, just in case you have not, girl, lemme tell you what it's all about.

Okay, the 90 Day Rule is a rule that suggests that a woman abstain from having sex with a new man for 90 days.

Why 90 days?

Because 90 days is about as long as a man can keep his little "eccentricities" to himself.  Think about it. No way is a slightly normal, decent guy going to spill all of his crazy beans on the first few dates. He's not going to tell you that he has a fetish for sniffing dirty socks or admitting to you that he's biwinning...ahem...bipolar.  But, if you give it 90 days those sort of things will reveal themselves. It's the same reason that you're given a 90 day probation period on a new job. Have you seen how much people change by day 91? They start coming in late, eating their co-workers snacks and talking on their cell phones when they should be working.

Ya see where I'm going with this? I agree that it's almost impossible for any human being to suppress the crazy for longer than three months. But...I have been wrong. Some guys have tricked me. Let me see. There was Married Man, Psycho Crazy Fool Man, The Black Rodeo Stalker Man and I Forgot That I Have Two Children NOT One Child Man. So, it is possible to suppress crazy for longer than 90 days.

Personally, I like the rule. It gives you time to get to know the guy. I know. I know. It's old-fashioned. But what happened to the days when women liked to be...wait for it...courted.

What's wrong with being wined and dined before giving up the vajayjay? Is it wrong to hold out for flowers, a few more dates and maybe even a home cooked meal? Honestly, that's not my point. My question is, can the rule be bent a little?           
Come on! Women have needs too. What if it's been a while and cobwebs are growing all up-and-through?

What if you really, I mean really, like the guy? Can you give him some action on day, errm, 75? Wait! What if he's really hot? Should hot guys be given 60 days? Hold the phone!

What if he's hot, rich, showers everyday, loves his mom, makes a mean ham and cheese sandwich, has a nice body, white teeth and watches chick flicks with you? BAM-thirty-five days, right?

Weigh in.

1 comment:

  1. This is the biggest pile of BS i have ever read. Did you give 90 days probation to all of your cats?