What's Wrong With Being A Gold-Digger?

I've had enough! I'm tired of taking care of myself. Screw it. I don't want to be a strong, independent woman! I want to be a woman that does nothing all day. No wait. I take that back. I want to shop, organize charity events, shop, travel and play tennis and be pretty (I think I could be really pretty if I had my own makeup artist and stylist).

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I'm over it. I want a man to take care of me. I've taken care of myself, and guess what? It's too hard, and I’m tired (and at such a young age, too). I want a rich, fine man—with a smoking hot body and nice skin—to pay my bills. Hell, I want that fine man to buy me nice things and take me to beautiful places. I want to travel too. I want to fly on a private jet. I want to spend my weekends on Martha's Vineyard, dammit!

Is it too much to ask? Does it make me look bad? Does it make me look weak? Well, guess what? I don't care anymore! Struggling is for the birds, and the thought of living a bland, typical, average, American lifestyle (credit card and student loan debt included) is not very appealing to me.

Perhaps, I watch too many reality shows. Maybe, just maybe, those Real Housewives shows have messed my head up, but I see nothing wrong with a man taking care of a woman if he chooses to do so. I'd be flattered if a man wanted to take care of me. Aren't I just as worthy as Kim Zolciak? Hell, I know I’m less expensive. My hair is real. I think I'm attractive, kind and smart enough. What can't I be a kept woman?

As a matter of fact, what’s wrong with being a gold digger? What's wrong with wanting a man that has way more money than me? Hell, shouldn't they? Aren't most of them given a head start in life simply because they have penises? Why shouldn't I take advantage of that? Honestly, all of my adult life, I’ve dated strictly for love. What has that taught me? It's taught me that love does not pay the bills.

So, sign me up. Where do I apply to become a gold digger? Is there a school? Gold-Digger U, perhaps? Who am I kidding? I can’t afford another university. Is there a gold digger technical college? On-line classes?

Tell me what I need to do because I'm officially turning in my "I Date for Love" card. I no longer want that card. It's expired, and I will NOT be renewing it! I already have it planned. The next man that I date, I will date for money. Humph. There's no rule that says that a man with money can't be everything that a broke man is. A rich man can still love and respect me, right? We'll see. Until then, shred my "I Date for Love" card, and upgrade me to a black card.

What do you think? Do you date for love or money or both?