Question of the Day

Disposable panties...

When getting a bikini wax, do you modestly ask for paper panties or are you more, ahem, free?

Why or why not?

Tell The Truth. Are You A...

Dear Drama Queen,

The other coworkers won’t tell you this, but you’re really annoying, hard to work with and a pain in the arse! You’re driving us all insane! And that evil eye of yours, well, it scares us.

You overreact to every little situation. And when I say every, I mean every. Example. You had the same Oscar-winning reaction to a broken nail and your uncle Ted’s death in that tragic…volcano…Speedo wearing…bungee jumping accident.

You don’t seem to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Yes. Sometimes your coworkers have better things to talk about than you. In fact, we’d really appreciate it if you’d stop interrupting our conversations to talk about yourself. And, guess what else? We don't want to hear about your poor, pitiful life anymore. You never ask us, but…we have issues too. Unlike you, when we’re having a bad day, we don't fling ourselves on the ground, curl into a ball and sob uncontrollably for 20 minutes while looking at our own reaction in a compact mirror.

I get it. Your boyfriend broke up with you last night. Is that any reason to contemplate suicide? By the way, we've all noticed that you've contemplated suicide 12 times this month, and, well, we don't believe you anymore.

Oh. Whoopsie. Someone used all of your coffee creamer...again. Please, on behalf of the entire staff, can you shorten your rant about how we all suck and have no manners? This particular temper tantrum—that you throw every two weeks for 15 minutes—doesn’t make anyone move any faster to get your Belgium White Chocolate Macadamia creamer. Actually, we used it all on purpose because...we wanted to see your head explode.

Drama Mama, I’m not trying to offend you, but I must let you know that you’re draining and have the amazing ability to suck the life out of the room. Your reaction to everything doesn’t have to be a 10. Tone it down. Yell less. Listen more, and realize that you’re not famous, and you’re not filming a reality television show so there will be no paparazzi taking pictures of your antics. And no one, and I mean no one, will ever care about your issues as much as you do.

Oh, and here’s your creamer. I poured it down the sink yesterday. Whoopsie.

Do you know any drama queens? Are you one? Let me hear your stories.

Divorce Parties

Last night on Basketball Wives, Jennifer Williams threw a divorce party. That's right. She threw a big ole, f*^k my ex husband ’cause he ain't no good, and he cheated on me party. There was music, drinks, her girls, a new man and a big, ugly piñata (made in Eric William's liking) for her to beat the crap out of. I must say, it was pretty awesome. 

The idea of bringing your besties with you while you pick out a cake decorated with your exes head chopped off is completely...empowering! A divorce party is so 2011! Gone are the days when women would spend months crying over a no-good man. I love that women are starting to dust themselves off, put their dysfunctional marriages behind them and move on. That's the way it should be, right? 

How long can a woman mourn a marriage that has been in the dumps for years? And let's be honest, isn't it ALWAYS years? Don't most women try too hard for too long to keep their family together? Don’t most women spend too much time trying to change the unchangeable?

Marriage is the celebration of love, happiness and new beginnings. Well, doesn’t divorce (when it's wanted on both sides) signify a new beginning, too? To me it does. In many cases, it signifies the end of infidelity, disrespect and misery.

Something about figuratively chopping off the head of a no-good (in Jen's case, extremely, facially challenged) man screams liberation! No more sitting around and moping like the women in Waiting to Exhale. No more pity parties, ladies! Empower yourself. You’ve mourned the marriage every time you had a fight. You mourned the marriage every time you caught him cheating. You mourned the marriage every time you took his verbal, emotional or physical  abuse.

Dust yourself off. Order that cake; complete with your exes guts spilling out. Invite your girlfriends over, turn up the music, make margaritas, and gracefully say goodbye to all the bullsh*t, and hello to new and better things. 

How do you feel about divorce parties? 

Independence or Tacky?

National Girlfriend's Day!

UPN Girlfriends

So today is officially National Girlfriends Day. Who knew? I didn't. I only knew because I read a tweet from Sheckys. I think it's awesome. Why? Because I have a best girlfriend (going 20 years strong), and finding out that today is National Girlfriends Day put a smile on my face.

I have had the same best friend since high school. Actually, I met my best friend in middle school. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure how our friendship began since I was athletically competitive, and she was athletically challenged (I'm putting that mildly. Love ya E-bone!), but next thing I knew, we were having slumber parties and filling condoms up with red Kool Aid (Don't ask!).

My girl and I have been through thick and thin. Sometimes I think that we might get married—this would be a purely sexless relationship—but, it would be a good relationship. We’ve been in shootouts (ATTENTION! We weren’t the shooter or the shootees). We’ve gone to the clink together (I will never tell), and we’ve been lovingly beat with the Yellow Pages together (teenagers shouldn’t be allowed to date). We have done everything together.

As adults, my bestie and I live thousands of miles away from each other, but it still feels like we're just blocks away from each other. In fact, just this morning I called her to help me with my busted radiator. Yes, I called her before I called the tow truck to come and pick me up off the side of the road. That’s friendship!

Unlike many women that I know, my relationship with my girlfriend has never faltered. We have never had a disagreement that we couldn’t move past. We've never stopped speaking to each other. We’ve never fought over a man. We’ve never stopped being girlfriends. NEVER!

Shout-out to my bestie. See you in 2066. I know our wedding day will be awesome. I’ll even let you wear white

How long have you known your bestie?

What's Wrong With Being A Gold-Digger?

I've had enough! I'm tired of taking care of myself. Screw it. I don't want to be a strong, independent woman! I want to be a woman that does nothing all day. No wait. I take that back. I want to shop, organize charity events, shop, travel and play tennis and be pretty (I think I could be really pretty if I had my own makeup artist and stylist).

Ladies, I don't know about you, but I'm over it. I want a man to take care of me. I've taken care of myself, and guess what? It's too hard, and I’m tired (and at such a young age, too). I want a rich, fine man—with a smoking hot body and nice skin—to pay my bills. Hell, I want that fine man to buy me nice things and take me to beautiful places. I want to travel too. I want to fly on a private jet. I want to spend my weekends on Martha's Vineyard, dammit!

Is it too much to ask? Does it make me look bad? Does it make me look weak? Well, guess what? I don't care anymore! Struggling is for the birds, and the thought of living a bland, typical, average, American lifestyle (credit card and student loan debt included) is not very appealing to me.

When I Leave The House, I Gotta Have My...

Cell phone

Lip gloss

Compact mirror

Visa debit

Keys

Are You A Product Junkie?

Okay, so I was doing a little spring cleaning when I realized that...I'VE GOT A LOTTA CRAP THAT I DON'T USE! Nail polishes, perfumes, lotions, and hair products. I could sell half this stuff and make a nice little profit. Why? Because a lot of the crap that I have is barely used. Take a look...

This is just a quarter of the products I have. I'm too embarrassed to show you what's underneath my cabinets.

Are you a product junkie?

Public Dislays of Affection

So, I'm standing in line at the movies, and the couple in front of me began tonguing each other down! Not regular kissing. Not cute couple kissing, but noisy, sloppy, get a freakin' room kissing. Argh!

Couples like this drive me insane! I'm always completely grossed out by them. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. I think it's romantic to see a couple making eyes at each other or patting each other on the butt. I believe that a happy couple is probably a couple that shows affection towards one another, BUT come on, when does it go beyond that?

For me, personally, I'm not really into PDA. My version of PDA is very G-rated. Holding hands. A hug. A quick peck on the lips. That's okay, but a full-blown, make out session in public is a no-no! Sorry future boyfriends, but I find it unnecessary and attention-seeking.

So back to the couple. She's pulling his hair and he's squeezing her butt. OMG! Yes. Mr. and Mrs. Suckface. Everyone is looking at you. We get it. YOU HAVE GREAT SEX! Maybe. YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! Possibly. Regardless, why are you bumping-and-grinding all willy-nilly for the world to see?

Honestly, I wish I could just tap them on the shoulders and ask, "Why are you at the movies? Why don't you just go home and get it on?" That would be rude, but aren't they being rude or is it just me?

Weigh In 

Why A Man Shouldn't Cheat. Reason No. 25

Fatal Attraction 

The other day I watched Fatal Attraction. This movie has always given me the chills. Glenn Close played the hell out of this part. She was beyond crazy, and I'm almost positive, she made a few men consider marriage counseling over cheating back in 1987. So, what is the movie about? Cheating Man + Crazy Woman = Boiling Bunny. Ahhh! Whatever. Rent it!

Anyway, while watching the movie, I got to thinking. Yes. We all know that when a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend, he's going to break her heart, ruin the trust in the relationship and possibly rip apart his family, but has anyone ever thought about what that man has done to the other woman?

Hear me out.

What if the other woman doesn't know he's married? What if she really, truly, and deeply falls in love with him? Wait! What if she doesn't know he's  married, falls in love with him and is crazier than a fruit bat?

One of the most memorable lines in the movie is when Close's character says "I will not be ignored!" That one line set everything off, for me. So, I wondered. Before a man cheats, shouldn't he consider what could happen if the other woman refuses to be ignored, lead on, used up and thrown aside like garbage? Shouldn't he consider checking her medicine cabinet for "happy" pills before he proceeds? 

Check Out The Trailer

Weigh In

It's Complicated. So What!

I bet it's more complicated now that your business is all over the internet.

Okay, maybe this is just a pet peeve of mine, but I hate relationship statuses on Facebook. I believe that what goes on in a relationship should remain between those two people. If it's complicated, work it out or move on, but don't share that intimate detail of your life with your 589 "friends" on Facebook.

My question is, what do you want your friends to say after seeing your status change from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated"? Obviously, they're going to ask why "it's complicated". So, are you willing to share? Are you willing to tell an old classmate from high school, (the one that you really didn't like but you friended them because you wanted to stalk their pictures), what's going on in your relationship? Are you doing it to piss off your complicated lover? Do you want your 589 "friends" advice? What's the point? No, really!

Weigh In

Pregnant Celebs Posing Nude. How Do We Feel About It?

"I didn't want to miss an opportunity to document a once-in-a-lifetime experience."

That's what mom-to-be Mariah Carey said in the new issue of Life & Style magazine where she posed nude, covering her breasts and exposing her baby bump. Carey has officially joined the short list of celebrity women who have posed pregnant and nude for popular magazines.

What's On Your Bucket List?

With graduation being just 25 days away, I got to thinking about all the things I want to do with my life. Yes. I've thought about it before, but being in school has held me up for the last three years.

Whenever I was studying, writing a paper, doing a project or reading some boring book that I knew I'd never read again, I often found myself thinking about all the fun things I could be doing with my life, my time, my future. Like many people, I'm always thinking about what I'd like to do before I..ahem...kick the bucket.

  

My Top Ten

Move to the Caribbean for a few years

Have my novel published

Fly in a hot air balloon

Hang glide

Experience Carnival in Brazil

Go on an African Safari

See the heart reef in the center of the Great Barrier Reef

Have dinner on the SeaFair

Have a genealogy test done

Pet a Koala bear

What's On Your Bucket List?

Tattoos. Hot or Not?

Over the last few years, I've noticed a lot of women with tattoos. Lots of female celebs have them. Younger women. Older women. Even women who I would least expect to have them, have them.

I don't have any tattoos, but I would love to have a couple. In the right place, tattoos can be very sexy. Something really cute and feminine on the ankle or shoulder, maybe? 

As an esthetician, I see how dramatically the skin changes from your 20s to your 40s. And trust me, ladies, it changes. Now, don't get me wrong, there are lots of women in their 40s and beyond with radiant skin, but there are quite a few who aren't as lucky. A butterfly on soft, supple, 20-year-old flesh looks extremly different 40 years later.

My theory is, it's all about placement. If I ever get enough courage to get inked, I will definitely put it on a body part that's hidden from the sun and not going to shift. Tattooes on weathered, sun damaged, older skin are not hot, and I've witnessed, firsthand, the sexy cleavage tattoo as it's slowly morphed into the unsexy, slighty-lowered, cleavage tattoo. But still, I see sexy tats all the time that make me want to muster up the courage and just do it. Aww, what to do?

 

Is It Ever Cool To Loan A Friend Money?

We've all done it. Twenty dollars here. Ten dollars there. A dinner. A movie. But I'm not talking about that. Little sums of money like that aren't worth mentioning, and if it's a real friend, then, you shouldn't be keeping track. What I'm talking about is big chunks of money.

Okay, so I was watching Judge Hatchet the other day, and there was a case where a friend was suing her best friend, of 20 years, for $2500. I was shocked at how nasty the defendant was. She acted as if her best friend should not have sued her! But she couldn't seem to understand that she had not repaid her friend for over a year. Her only defense was that they were best friend and friends shouldn't sue each other.

So, it got me to wondering, is it ever okay to LOAN hundreds or thousands of dollars to a friend? If and when you loan money to a friend, should you make them sign a promissory note? If it's a large sum of money, should you allow them to pay you back in installments? Or, should there just be a rule that friends don't loan friends money?

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Should You Keep Gifts From Your Ex?

 

 A watch. A necklace. A really great pair of stilettos that make your legs look like BAM! We all have them--gifts from our exes.

I got to wondering about this topic when a client of mine told me that she made her fiance get rid of all the gifts that his ex-girlfriend had given him.

Personally, I'd never thought about the subject. I felt the necklace around my neck and wondered what would happen if me and my current were no longer together. Would I have to give up the necklace that I've been wearing for years--the necklace that I sometimes forget that I'm wearing until someone compliments it? Why, I thought?

Why should you have to throw away gifts from your ex, when you've thrown your ex away? I thought her request was totally ridiculous. What if her fiance's ex had given him a car? Would she expect him to trade it in? What about a pet?

I didn't bother to ask what was thrown away, but I did start to think about all of the things I would have thrown away if my current boyfriends had asked me to. Clothes, furniture, jewelry. NO WAY!

She said, "I refuse to have him looking at reminders of that woman!"

That statement stayed with me and prompted this blog post. Again, I touched my necklace and wondered, can you truly say that you've moved on from an ex if you're still holding on to their gifts? Hmm?

Weigh In

Office Gossipers. What's Wrong With These Women?

Okay, let's keep it real. We all know this chick. The one that can't keep her mouth shut. She's the one that knows your blood type, social security number and shoe size.

You're looking at her right now. She's pretending like she's working but she's really listening in on your conversation. She's the person that whenever you look up, she's looking at you. Argh! Later, she'll pull you to the side and beg you not to tell whatever "secret" she's about to tell you.
Ten minutes later, the entire office will know the secret!
To this office heffa, no one is special. Everyone's business is up for grabs--including hers. The first day you met her she told you that she was married or dating, where her children were conceived and how much money her husband or boyfriend makes. So what gives? What's up with women like this?